https://www.sparrowsnestcounseling.com/blog daily 0.75 2026-03-26 https://www.sparrowsnestcounseling.com/blog/5-misconceptions-about-therapy-for-anxiety monthly 0.5 2026-03-13 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1773430612059-DCXW7BRV5RY5P7UFLV53/unsplash-image-U0crXuU8wsE.jpg Blog - 5 Misconceptions About Therapy for Anxiety - You wake up with a heaviness in your chest, heart racing, and a sense of dread. Your cardiologist says that everything is ok. So what gives? You feel on edge all the time, like you are walking on eggshells. Sometimes, for no apparent reason you just worry about things, even though you know you are being irrational. Your loved ones tell you to “calm down”. Thanks. I would if I could, believe me. Maybe you start crying or shaking, without really knowing why. You’ve got a pit in your stomach. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/74dbf9ea-367f-4afb-9050-d2a44b92d099/Untitled+design+%2896%29.jpg Blog - 5 Misconceptions About Therapy for Anxiety - People sometimes ask me how I manage to do this job, to sit with people who are hurting and have gone through such horrible things. My training gave me some tools to use to manage compassion fatigue (which, yes, is a real thing), but also, it’s because I have so much confidence and hope that you are going to feel better! https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1773430901793-O6VOW5O56XS95NTTDYWE/unsplash-image-xMNel_otvWs.jpg Blog - 5 Misconceptions About Therapy for Anxiety - When we take the time to take deep breaths, using the entirety of your lungs all the way down to the diaphragm, it sends a signal to the rest of the body that “It must be safe or we wouldn’t have the time to take these deep breaths.” When we focus on exhaling longer than we are inhaling, it can actually slow your heart rate. Deep breathing can be like a body hack that can train the brain to relax easier. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/624fd67e-8c48-4ae5-861e-599b95513e04/T+%281%29.jpg Blog - 5 Misconceptions About Therapy for Anxiety - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1773431367704-H6WNRVWE1ZHUQ1W5JHS5/unsplash-image-Br51GZY84fs.jpg Blog - 5 Misconceptions About Therapy for Anxiety - One of my favorite verses is 2 Corinthians 12:9, “But He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness’” Our weaknesses, our anxieties, keep us focused on God. Our weaknesses glorify God! They give us a reason to cling to Him and be reminded of that eternal perspective. They motivate us to “Cast our anxieties on Him because he cares for you” (1 Peter 5:7) and remember He is with us always (Matthew 28:20). https://www.sparrowsnestcounseling.com/blog/what-do-you-mean monthly 0.5 2026-03-26 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/934dce52-cccd-4c6d-b928-9b05e4058054/_Photo+Credit+stanfram.jpg Blog - What Do You Mean? - “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” shrieked the little one. Her tiny body was so full of indignation that I think even the hair in her ponytail shook. At a recent family gathering, I was watching a full-on battle scene unfold over a chair. Yes…a chair. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1761486414230-VR77QMNKIXYNY9JLPTG0/unsplash-image-ZiQkhI7417A.jpg Blog - What Do You Mean? - Something happens, and in an instant our brains pull up everything we have connected to that thing. What we know about the people involved, what we know about the context, past experiences. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/915c1ed7-c542-4a13-9c17-f9117ac0965d/20250521_171232.jpg Blog - What Do You Mean? - If my dog barks, I am not afraid of him because I know he is loyal to me. “Dog” (to me, when it’s MY dog) means “Good Boy!” (the BEST boy, most of the time!) https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/0b37acf6-066d-4722-9daa-c1127f9d99a3/830A1840.jpeg Blog - What Do You Mean? - If you find that you are a woman in PA who needs some help figuring out what it is about, please reach out through my website or give me a call at 717-219-4339. Just make sure you don’t text me, as texting is not encrypted or secure. https://www.sparrowsnestcounseling.com/blog/how-to-gain-some-control-over-your-thoughts monthly 0.5 2025-10-14 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1755197608759-KWMWZGVUSN885FVH3IRL/unsplash-image-WI4k8Z15hbQ.jpg Blog - How To Gain Some Control Over Your Thoughts - Have you ever had a scenario that you turned over and over again in your mind? And then again and again some more? https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/2fe27a9b-c5b1-473b-be45-badc41dcdb97/Photo+Credit+braclark.jpg Blog - How To Gain Some Control Over Your Thoughts - We are basically giving our brains a gold star when we (again) keep thinking about the thing. So what does the brain do? It gives us more thoughts just like it. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/6fe27d1c-8415-4ab0-ba4a-fc0dde54254c/_Photo+Credit+iridi.jpg Blog - How To Gain Some Control Over Your Thoughts - It is often useless to try to not think of something because then, that thing you are trying not to think about becomes all you can think about. Try it. DON’T think of a cat in a tophat. (I am guessing that’s all you can think about now) https://www.sparrowsnestcounseling.com/blog/how-ai-can-affect-mental-health monthly 0.5 2025-09-22 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1756499487331-D2VG3YTAU36S4YTAP264/unsplash-image-gakXaqzGad0.jpg Blog - How AI Can Affect Mental Health - AI. It’s everywhere. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1756499673098-Z0N5Q6G5U36FUW0R7ZU8/unsplash-image-FWVMhUa_wbY.jpg Blog - How AI Can Affect Mental Health - We do everything online, from paying bills to keeping a shared calendar, to shopping, to managing home appliances and services, booking vacations, navigating to places, and the list goes on. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/e3fdb596-4ed7-4e62-bc67-cb981bb2d641/Photo+Credit+Weedezignfrom+Getty+Images+Pro.jpg Blog - How AI Can Affect Mental Health - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/2c8a36b2-7e25-4840-9217-34f4d65216c8/Photo++credit+tungnguyen0905++from+pixaba.jpg Blog - How AI Can Affect Mental Health - Set aside the fact that the relationship is not with someone real for a second. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1756500485569-R9J3AZ675TC7MDS9X17M/unsplash-image-u5e1kqW6E3M.jpg Blog - How AI Can Affect Mental Health - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://www.sparrowsnestcounseling.com/blog/how-do-i-get-rid-of-bitterness monthly 0.5 2026-03-26 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/e88b6cec-4e87-4878-a6b4-832a57af7eb0/Photo+Credit+Vasko.jpg Blog - How Do I Get Rid of Bitterness? - How do I keep from feeling bitter? I have had many women ask me this question, and not just in the counseling room. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1748010384256-5KXN2X7QTR0C1IVRJ350/unsplash-image-ZiQkhI7417A.jpg Blog - How Do I Get Rid of Bitterness? - I’ve mentioned before that when we go through something that hurts us, our brains connect that experience to a memory network. Sensory information from that situation gets stored in ways that we are not always aware of and becomes part of a memory network connecting your most recent experience to similar information our brains have gathered over time. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/2cc0738c-7c61-4614-81df-0639eead6d99/Photo+Credit+Orbon+Alija.jpg Blog - How Do I Get Rid of Bitterness? - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/624fd67e-8c48-4ae5-861e-599b95513e04/T+%281%29.jpg Blog - How Do I Get Rid of Bitterness? - Let me encourage you that peace is possible. https://www.sparrowsnestcounseling.com/blog/how-to-deal-with-shame monthly 0.5 2025-05-05 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/4f2d26c4-2f5e-4194-8a19-ae8955024d59/20250415_153744.jpg Blog - How to Deal With Shame - I was a gangly 11 year-old, with pimples, braces, coke-bottle glasses and feathered, layered hair that I didn’t know how to style. (I took the glasses off for pictures, naturally!) I had enough awareness to know that some of the kids in the popular group looked just as awkward as me. I don’t think anyone is immune from acne in 6th grade. It plagued me that they were popular and I wasn’t. Who decided that? And what could I do about it? https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/7f1ddeef-837e-4bbc-9585-b2f46178c143/pointing+finger.jpg Blog - How to Deal With Shame - Shame just accuses. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/b11e9083-2918-47b8-b236-12a34893a868/Woman+listening+to+headphones.jpg Blog - How to Deal With Shame - If you have more time you can take some deep breaths, or listen to some music, or find some funny cat or dog videos to watch on your phone. Whatever works for you. The point is to do something to help shift yourself out of the overwhelm of the feeling. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/19dd6cd6-0290-415b-b051-ed649ae27481/Woman+journaling.jpg Blog - How to Deal With Shame - Remember that Nelson Mandela quote about winning or learning? Take some time to consider how you’ve grown through this circumstance. https://www.sparrowsnestcounseling.com/blog/how-to-break-up-with-limiting-beliefs monthly 0.5 2025-05-05 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1737489771481-NPB92K81ASV8E8QQP7SZ/unsplash-image-4STq2B24S1k.jpg Blog - How to Break Up with Limiting Beliefs - She knew his car when she saw it. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/b9c8763b-88bd-490b-8236-5fd241cc31a7/Copy+of+Photo+credit+Rolling+Camera+by+Getty+Images.jpg Blog - How to Break Up with Limiting Beliefs - It can be hard to even recognize your limiting beliefs, and once you do, it’s important to expect that they are going to come up sometimes. Just like when an ex shows up when you are not expecting him to, our limiting beliefs tend to pop up like that, too. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1737490345365-HPYEZUVFNFJYUJ9UAL4N/unsplash-image-dvXGnwnYweM.jpg Blog - How to Break Up with Limiting Beliefs - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/49ee179a-255e-4ee4-a9e8-1047c5391d67/Copy+of+Photo+credit+Fat+Camera+by+Getty+Images+Signature.jpg Blog - How to Break Up with Limiting Beliefs - Sometimes the person you check in with is a therapist. A therapist can help you identify the sneaky ways your limiting beliefs try to show up, and work with the trauma that may have caused you to cope this way in the first place. https://www.sparrowsnestcounseling.com/blog/what-is-trauma-informed-care monthly 0.5 2025-05-05 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/918211e2-699c-4aa3-b2bf-901deaa89835/Photo+credit+Mortotion+by+Getty+Images.jpg Blog - What is Trauma-Informed Care? - I have also had the experience where “Friend A” told “Friend B” what a difficult time I was having with a recent situation. It was something I wasn’t actually having a difficult time with. Friend A was thinking about how she would have felt in that situation, assuming I felt the same way and telling the story accordingly. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/bc932382-2890-47b3-bfe1-14b7df922e19/Photo+Credit+moodboard.jpg Blog - What is Trauma-Informed Care? - I am here with the cheerleading pom poms, ready to call out your strengths! https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/0583b6e8-acfc-48e2-b298-cdbd087f88e5/T+%2843%29.png Blog - What is Trauma-Informed Care? - I hold this sacred and invite clients to watch and see if they think I am trustworthy. I am never going to try and force it. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/30cba849-7f2e-403f-a493-93e6711fd56b/830A1932.jpeg Blog - What is Trauma-Informed Care? - Those memories do not define you. I am here to help you, in a trauma-informed way, to find freedom from your past, and peace for your present and future. Please reach out when you are ready to get started. https://www.sparrowsnestcounseling.com/blog/consider-a-gentle-new-year monthly 0.5 2025-05-05 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/dd0ac6c9-de12-4c58-9bd1-505c9af6cc19/Photo+credit+Andrii+Lysenko%2C+Getty+Images.jpg Blog - Consider a Gentle New Year - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/4d7904f6-9d57-48b0-8558-9bc16edf7445/Photo+credit+ljubaphoto%2C+Getty+Images+Signature.jpg Blog - Consider a Gentle New Year - What might it look like to be gentle with yourself this next year? https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/40f34a3f-dcd4-49a9-b072-118c82ba26c5/Photo+credit+pixelshot.jpg Blog - Consider a Gentle New Year - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://www.sparrowsnestcounseling.com/blog/coping-with-holidays monthly 0.5 2025-05-05 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/d09a055a-33f2-4048-8d29-55a73ce5b1cf/Untitled+design+%2815%29.jpg Blog - Coping with Holidays - They certainly come with some extras: expectations high emotions hope! misunderstandings nostalgia perceived obligations festivities tensions family fun BUSY (just to name a few) https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1733260066616-H2DNYXA0EQXW3WZVLUNW/unsplash-image-AJ_Mou1FUS8.jpg Blog - Coping with Holidays - Today I just want to send you a season’s greeting. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1733260338912-BLFAHOQEONR1FJ8K2E1Z/unsplash-image-dddQHervE04.jpg Blog - Coping with Holidays - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://www.sparrowsnestcounseling.com/blog/how-to-get-back-to-normal-after-a-difficult-season monthly 0.5 2025-05-05 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1732136643888-6TKM0MD5TVCLLINAD7TI/unsplash-image-FVRTLKgQ700.jpg Blog - How to Get Back to Normal After a Difficult Season - Ever been through a season of life that leaves you a little disoriented? And a lot exhausted? https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1732136888090-G427W3N235SWJ0IN5OCN/unsplash-image-4VLaXg5ETdg.jpg Blog - How to Get Back to Normal After a Difficult Season - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1732136811560-A75CRH49V4Q9512PPH3F/unsplash-image-aJN-jjFLyCU.jpg Blog - How to Get Back to Normal After a Difficult Season - Personally, I like to tackle my physical environment first. It helps me to feel on top of things if my home is reasonably in order, I am caught up on laundry, and have a plan for feeding the people in my home. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1732136967669-13S8GP6TO8JML3DE0N0I/unsplash-image-505eectW54k.jpg Blog - How to Get Back to Normal After a Difficult Season - As you think about the changes you might want to make, it’s a great time to reflect on what you have learned about yourself during that Season. https://www.sparrowsnestcounseling.com/blog/10-tips-to-weather-a-hard-season monthly 0.5 2025-11-03 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1732128863030-7ZGJUS7XG7F46BL6QJU1/unsplash-image-cfKO58M1QpY.jpg Blog - 10 Tips to Weather a Hard Season - Knowing what you need for your own self-care and putting those practices in place makes it much easier to get back to those practices when you get through the transition/crisis/hard season. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1732128976045-WXYI6Y44S9G0ZFINBER9/unsplash-image-nF8xhLMmg0c.jpg Blog - 10 Tips to Weather a Hard Season - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://www.sparrowsnestcounseling.com/blog/5-ways-to-take-care-of-yourself-during-the-holidays monthly 0.5 2025-05-05 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/0304163d-3dbd-4c42-bdf4-a8b425fa5fd0/Untitled+design+%2812%29.jpg Blog - 5 Ways to Take Care of Yourself During the Holidays - Make it stand out Photo credit Ron Lach from Pexels https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/7172b2af-66d9-4f37-8aeb-47958ad2117b/Untitled+design+%2813%29.jpg Blog - 5 Ways to Take Care of Yourself During the Holidays - Often there are deeper messes in our families that most people generally don’t mention. Addiction. Estrangement. Loss. These kinds of issues can create a backdrop of trauma, anxiety, and depression that just makes the rest of the holiday expectations that much harder. Photo Credit: Alliance Images https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/0ae91209-f22d-4d67-9c7d-ae5d16afe624/Untitled+design+%2814%29.jpg Blog - 5 Ways to Take Care of Yourself During the Holidays - Make it stand out Photo Credit: SebastianGauet from Getty Images https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/a283cf42-60e4-496e-9282-994ad5fc1b46/1212+Family+Christmas+Eve+%28K+Silly%29+2.JPG Blog - 5 Ways to Take Care of Yourself During the Holidays - I’ll leave you with a holiday card from many years ago when my daughter decided to make funny faces in every single one of our Christmas card pictures. Yes, I sent them out anyway. At the time, my thought was that I was pretty sure I was not the only one whose Christmas cards didn’t come out perfectly. Looking back now, maybe they did. They were a perfect snapshot of what our family was really like that year. They captured the humanity, the humor, the unpredictability, and the beauty of being connected to other messy people. I wouldn’t have it any other way. https://www.sparrowsnestcounseling.com/blog/connecting-with-others-as-a-military-spouse monthly 0.5 2025-05-05 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1722461315556-REVR62P6GLHEL99245YS/unsplash-image-flRm0z3MEoA.jpg Blog - Connecting With Others as a Military Spouse - It’s a new year, a new duty station, and your calendar is already filling up with events that feel a little nebulous to you. Especially if your spouse is stationed at the Army War College. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/9d455bfd-0364-4029-ba2c-897c27f9c92a/Untitled+design+%284%29.jpg Blog - Connecting With Others as a Military Spouse - Since our base was one of the closest (safe) bases to them, planes full of military family members were steadily landing at our little terminal. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1722463760724-SZO8V1JI52B7C8P9QM7X/unsplash-image-IjkIOe-2fF4.jpg Blog - Connecting With Others as a Military Spouse - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://www.sparrowsnestcounseling.com/blog/welcome-war-college-spouses-revisited monthly 0.5 2025-11-03 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/7a0ce5eb-1460-48cb-8598-c035ea93f81b/T+%2858%29.jpg Blog - Welcome, War College Spouses! (Revisited) - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1690811100121-VM1N3IKVIRB7E8263ZDU/image-asset.jpeg Blog - Welcome, War College Spouses! (Revisited) - For me, that assignment was the earthquake that caused my own personal volcano to erupt. Stuff I had been holding in came spewing out with a vengeance. At first I thought the “lava” was all my husband’s and the military’s doings. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/846ef8dc-888d-4391-b1d9-c1d6a17489fd/FB_IMG_1690489055952.jpg Blog - Welcome, War College Spouses! (Revisited) - I get the struggles of this lifestyle. I get the joys, too. I get the big picture, the why behind “service over self,” but I see ways that “self” needs some attention, too. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/74dbf9ea-367f-4afb-9050-d2a44b92d099/Untitled+design+%2896%29.jpg Blog - Welcome, War College Spouses! (Revisited) - If you are wanting to get into therapy yourself, I am a resource. I can post all these helpful resources, but often we need help unpacking the unique, very individual ways the stresses of military life impacts you. Not “military spouses” but you, specificially, with your unique life experiences, relational dynamics, family complexities, hopes and dreams. Living a healthy and satisfying life is not a one-size-fits all kind of thing. https://www.sparrowsnestcounseling.com/blog/7-lessons-learned-from-life-as-a-military-spouse monthly 0.5 2025-05-05 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/4d9b3805-7a3b-4906-988f-e7d5110e6455/IMG_5228.jpg Blog - 7 Lessons Learned from Life as a Military Spouse - My husband officially retired from 30 years of service in the Air Force last month. We have been adjusting to the new routine of having him home (with a beard!) while he has been on terminal leave, so I have had some time to gradually get used to this idea. As I journaled through this time of transition, I found myself waxing a little nostalgic about our time in the military. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/2f3cf789-ebf9-4737-8ad1-1bcbf715d198/Photo+credit%3A+Pixelshot Blog - 7 Lessons Learned from Life as a Military Spouse - Most of all, people don’t feel alone in their struggles when you let them share. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/36dd41e0-e9e6-47dc-ab80-62d2357e32f4/Photo+Credit%3A+Billion+Photos Blog - 7 Lessons Learned from Life as a Military Spouse - I remember another situation when I was really overwhelmed and I asked a friend to do some laundry for me. It was a weird ask, I know, and the circumstances around it are much more raw than I can explain here, but that act of kindness helped me immensely. It was something she would never have thought to offer. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/da3a4f55-8fb4-4add-ac22-a28dcc3fcd05/Untitled+design+%283%29.jpg Blog - 7 Lessons Learned from Life as a Military Spouse - It takes effort to maintain friendships over long distances, and I am sad to say, I haven’t always been good at it. For that matter, it takes effort to maintain local friendships, too, but it is so worth the investment. https://www.sparrowsnestcounseling.com/blog/things-to-consider-during-a-life-transitionnbsp monthly 0.5 2025-05-05 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/ec088d0c-e065-465d-8ce9-5db2d2bfe6ce/20240425_175215.jpg Blog - Things to Consider During a Life Transition  - This spring my husband retired from 30 years of military service and has started a second career, while my youngest child graduated from high school. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1718833067372-GMH0T8D375A9BYFKLVM8/image-asset.jpeg Blog - Things to Consider During a Life Transition  - It reminds me a little bit of that sweet spot in our military relocations when it was just our family in the car on our way to a new destination. There was some sadness about leaving the life we created at the last destination, but lots of excitement about the unknown. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1718833332551-67205LI3ETHNCX78QZCW/image-asset.jpeg Blog - Things to Consider During a Life Transition  - Memorialize the things you want to hold close in your heart. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1eb73056-98ca-47e7-a9d0-ab7e8362ff6c/Untitled+design.jpg Blog - Things to Consider During a Life Transition  - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://www.sparrowsnestcounseling.com/blog/10-tips-managing-mixed-emotions-military-pcs-xm9fj monthly 0.5 2025-05-05 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/9f8f1516-fcb8-472f-805c-4dffcdd164db/T+%2854%29.jpg Blog - 10 Tips for Managing Mixed Emotions, Especially During a Military PCS (Revisited) - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1686588575397-XAJNBCPWG5PFN63PJ258/image-asset.jpeg Blog - 10 Tips for Managing Mixed Emotions, Especially During a Military PCS (Revisited) - All the while, we are managing the sadness of leaving friends, the end of a personal era, regrets of opportunities we maybe did not take during our time at that location, and the emotions of those we are leaving. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/eb9c6c9a-38f7-4ce9-b57e-aaf0d1fb3fc7/T+%2855%29.jpg Blog - 10 Tips for Managing Mixed Emotions, Especially During a Military PCS (Revisited) - If you are PCSing to Carlisle Barracks, I am here to help! You may be coming to this duty station with some emotional boxes that need to be unpacked. I have a soft spot in my heart for military spouses. You can read a collection of my posts geared towards military spouses (and other topics I tend to cover often) here. Please reach out securely on my website or give me a call (717-219-4339). https://www.sparrowsnestcounseling.com/blog/perfectionism-and-catastrophizing monthly 0.5 2025-05-05 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/191ba29b-f937-43b2-a39c-41991448b20f/Untitled+design.jpg Blog - Perfectionism and Catastrophizing - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/b1cfcdab-975d-4f23-91b0-e0d03938e1ed/Untitled+design+%281%29.jpg Blog - Perfectionism and Catastrophizing - Perfectionists often project these failures into a vision of their character. Failures become a definition of who you believe you are instead of a way to identify what skills/qualities you may need to work on so you can achieve your goals. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/daa85050-a9d1-4910-916d-ea2cab52553b/Untitled+design+%282%29.jpg Blog - Perfectionism and Catastrophizing - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/5b152552-8f4c-4ba1-a2a9-bea4a5d7b782/T+%2831%29.png Blog - Perfectionism and Catastrophizing - Dr. Reid Wilson (1) highly recommends abdominal breathing. His book focused on panic attacks, but I have found that abdominal breathing really does help regulate the nervous system and is useful in many (if not all) situations in which emotional regulation is a challenge. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/6df343de-200d-4c55-8716-59d38b4b9618/Untitled+design+%283%29.jpg Blog - Perfectionism and Catastrophizing - Remember, it is a process to learn how to address catastrophizing. You are not going to do it perfectly the first time or all the time. https://www.sparrowsnestcounseling.com/blog/the-perfectionist-and-all-or-nothing-thinking monthly 0.5 2025-05-05 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/cf734142-21b4-4bf1-a2a6-b98b2703f9a8/Untitled+design+-+2024-02-23T172320.756.jpg Blog - The Perfectionist and All or Nothing Thinking - Just like a funhouse mirror at a carnival distorts images, sometimes our thoughts become distorted in our brains. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1fe5cd36-800f-409c-ac83-74cb8b76aa6b/Untitled+design+-+2024-04-29T181403.406.jpg Blog - The Perfectionist and All or Nothing Thinking - Slow down and notice https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/ca8d702a-4dec-4de5-8a65-935b5908df95/Untitled+design+-+2024-04-29T181805.278.jpg Blog - The Perfectionist and All or Nothing Thinking - Since I wrote all of this down, I can go back and analyze it. https://www.sparrowsnestcounseling.com/blog/perfectionism-and-the-need-to-control monthly 0.5 2025-05-05 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/fb0a9bad-0183-4733-a0aa-8ec64e9fd50f/1301+Luggage+Rack.JPG Blog - Perfectionism and the Need to Control - My husband had called to confirm our hotel room in Naples, Italy. A pet-friendly room that would fit all 6 of us (and our luggage!). Not so easy to come by. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/80e4ae3e-402b-409c-b200-240bd5fbd146/1301+First+Pasta.JPG Blog - Perfectionism and the Need to Control - She made arrangements for us to get a ride from the airport to the hotel, and later that night we all enjoyed our first authentic Italian pizza. We were a little punchy and jet-lagged, but it turned out to be a great (and very memorable) night! https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/7880a0c4-66a1-4bd3-9886-6a61a7d6e6c8/in+my+control+%281%29.jpg Blog - Perfectionism and the Need to Control - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/9623a397-4b0a-4341-af0b-8de835a19683/20240205_091937.jpg Blog - Perfectionism and the Need to Control - I used to work at Linens and Things. As a result, I am pretty meticulous about folding towels. Especially the guest towels. I like to have a little neat package of bath towel, hand towel, and wash cloth all bundled up. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/6f3f5319-b6a4-4621-88ca-eda195b0683f/20240205_091951.jpg Blog - Perfectionism and the Need to Control - Recently my husband did that job for me, and he found an even tidier way to do it. Who knew that someone who never worked at Linens and Things could be a fantastic towel-folder! https://www.sparrowsnestcounseling.com/blog/what-to-do-about-perfectionism monthly 0.5 2025-05-05 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/80131cc5-57a0-4a2f-b6e0-80c4771c917b/Untitled+design+-+2024-02-15T230355.074.jpg Blog - What To Do About Perfectionism - Not to sound like Dr. Phil, but how’s that working for you? It’s one thing to know and embrace who you are, flaws and all. It’s quite another to live with bad habits that might be interfering with your relationships and just dismiss them. “That’s just me.” https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/2ea20e04-6dab-4e91-bdc7-1de71291e03c/Untitled+design+-+2024-02-15T230721.817.jpg Blog - What To Do About Perfectionism - Take some time each day to write down the things that went well. Work hard to recognize and document your wins. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/57bdd022-2ffe-4a34-acba-ae7605b1fb20/Untitled+design+-+2024-02-15T231115.898.jpg Blog - What To Do About Perfectionism - Notice how you feel when you have spent time on social media. If you recognize a familiar “not good enough” feeling when a certain social media account pops up, unfollow it. This is not putting your head in the sand and denying that people who do something better than you exist. This is recognizing that you are out of balance in expecting to be just like them, and you need a little distance from that behavior for a while. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/f85ad15f-96cb-4388-b07e-78faf44e2082/Untitled+design+-+2024-02-15T231851.106.jpg Blog - What To Do About Perfectionism - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://www.sparrowsnestcounseling.com/blog/which-perfectionist-am-i monthly 0.5 2025-05-05 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/de400285-42b0-4124-95a8-677653037171/Untitled+design+-+2024-02-15T222610.283.jpg Blog - Which Perfectionist Am I? - I’m not a perfectionist. I just have to know that I did my best. Well…and that my best was good enough. And that my best was better than I did last time. And that I did everything I could. And that I couldn’t have done it better. And that nobody else does it better, either. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/59b9e30b-282a-4271-9398-ccc374543e53/Untitled+design+-+2024-02-15T223317.230.jpg Blog - Which Perfectionist Am I? - A fine line separates someone who cares about bringing their best efforts to the table and someone who is plagued by feelings of never good enough. Likewise, it can be nebulous to determine whether someone is inspiring and encouraging someone to do their best or putting unfair expectations on someone to do it according to their view of the task and timeline for the task. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/dbd4be37-4471-4a70-8357-5cb2c2a5b822/Untitled+design+-+2024-02-15T225040.842.jpg Blog - Which Perfectionist Am I? - We all do this to some extent. We assume that we know what other people are thinking and what they want, what they expect from us. We base these assumptions on what we would think, or what people who are close to us would think, what we see in the media and in groups we belong to. Often we are waaaaaaaay off. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/0b37acf6-066d-4722-9daa-c1127f9d99a3/830A1840.jpeg Blog - Which Perfectionist Am I? - You can also call a therapist for individualized support in the specific ways perfectionism shows up for you. I happen to know one, but she’s not perfect! https://www.sparrowsnestcounseling.com/blog/is-perfectionism-good-or-bad monthly 0.5 2025-05-05 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/0b29840e-b439-42bb-89b3-1050641b239c/Untitled+design+%2899%29.jpg Blog - Is Perfectionism Good or Bad? - The obvious answer to this question is that it pushes us to do our best, and we can achieve excellent outcomes. Just like a little bit of anxiety can be necessary to mobilize us for action to deal with some kind of threat, perfectionism can generate a healthy anxiety towards getting something finished, or done well. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/5b606474-ee67-406f-9964-1c1744cf6e74/Untitled+design+%28100%29.jpg Blog - Is Perfectionism Good or Bad? - We can feel paralyzed in the face of decisions. When we are afraid that we won’t make the perfect choice or the right decision, we stay stuck in our indecision. We may be waiting for the perfect amount of information that answers our doubts so we can feel 100% sure we are making the right decision. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/ff154247-3bb1-4d27-b0a7-b0292665e8d7/Untitled+design+-+2024-01-31T112845.473.jpg Blog - Is Perfectionism Good or Bad? - We get the idea that perfection is possible, because we see on social media that other people are doing all the things. (At least, we perceive that they are doing all the things.) https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/fdcbe124-389a-4f1e-a897-9e3f3386af41/Untitled+design+-+2024-01-31T113350.485.jpg Blog - Is Perfectionism Good or Bad? - Here are some questions you may want to ask yourself to determine how much perfectionism might be interfering with your life. https://www.sparrowsnestcounseling.com/blog/what-is-perfectionism-revisited monthly 0.5 2025-05-05 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1705010415825-G8YXUHZ5RU8U2MES6XSF/image-asset.jpeg Blog - What is Perfectionism? (Revisited) - Marie sits at her laptop, paralyzed. No words come to her mind, because no words could possibly be perfect enough for the project she has undertaken. The blinking cursor on the blank page taunts her, not-enough, not-enough, not-enough, never-enough. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/f9f4ca86-e98c-4b52-b2e1-094e96c125ed/T+%2833%29.jpg Blog - What is Perfectionism? (Revisited) - A disciplined, hard worker, Felicia achieved a great deal of success. She built a business by hustling and taking every opportunity along the way. She expects those who work for her to do the same. Nobody leaves the office until she calls it a day. No days off, that’s what weekends are for. She considers her deadlines logical because she bases them on how quickly she could accomplish the task. “If I can do it, they can do it,” she reasons. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/888d63d2-b7ee-483c-9f13-35a461a39baa/T+%2834%29.jpg Blog - What is Perfectionism? (Revisited) - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://www.sparrowsnestcounseling.com/blog/create-your-guiding-principles-new-year monthly 0.5 2025-05-05 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/a84db752-1b9b-4a27-bc01-879a3f1aba67/Untitled+design+%2891%29.jpg Blog - Create Your Guiding Principles for the New Year - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/d4da8fb4-c5dd-4fcc-8d3c-c0efa2d1cb2c/Untitled+design+%2893%29.jpg Blog - Create Your Guiding Principles for the New Year - Write down a guiding principle that captures each value you identified. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/3cf5848c-7296-41db-a257-050fede9b17c/Untitled+design+%2892%29.jpg Blog - Create Your Guiding Principles for the New Year - I am wishing you all the best as you finish up this year and ring in the next. If your guiding principles are leading you to get some help so you can live a life that fits into your values, please reach out. You may need someone to come alongside you and help you sort out your intentions from people-pleasing behaviors so you can define those guiding principles in the first place. I am here for it! https://www.sparrowsnestcounseling.com/blog/christmas-is-messy monthly 0.5 2025-05-05 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/39d1e4d0-2689-4984-8e02-5d8aeb750324/Untitled+design+%2890%29.jpg Blog - Christmas is Messy - Since nobody talks about that stuff openly, we can assume that we are alone with whatever dysfunction is happening in our family. Maybe it's not so much dysfunction, but more so grief. It feels difficult to connect to “the most wonderful time of the year” when we have complicated, deep family dynamics at play. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/259bea52-cba9-4635-9309-fd8c5324aacf/Untitled+design+%2886%29.jpg Blog - Christmas is Messy - Be thoughtful, like Joseph https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/2e7a95a4-3ed4-485e-800a-364be9c2d053/Untitled+design+%2885%29.jpg Blog - Christmas is Messy - Walk in faith, like Mary https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/b785b695-555d-4c22-9b7f-de98eae22538/Untitled+design+%2887%29.jpg Blog - Christmas is Messy - Keep working, like the Shepherds https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/68f9b3f6-7aa5-4153-ab83-86f232a24b3f/Untitled+design+%2888%29.jpg Blog - Christmas is Messy Proclaim God’s goodness, like the angels. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/e4a32ec0-afc1-42e5-92b1-399bc56487f8/Untitled+design+%2889%29.jpg Blog - Christmas is Messy - Seek, like the Magi https://www.sparrowsnestcounseling.com/blog/10-types-of-self-care monthly 0.5 2025-05-05 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/89595a27-a77b-49d3-b0e0-a93bd3deeddc/Untitled+design+%2877%29.jpg Blog - 10 Types of Self-Care - You are not really “doing for others” if you show up exhausted, snappy, and treating everyone around you like they are a huge inconvenience. If you run yourself ragged, you are likely to collapse when it becomes just too much, and that can create a burden on the very people you are trying to be there for. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/0036f754-64a8-4e34-a3b0-4cf839ddd1c0/Untitled+design+%2878%29.jpg Blog - 10 Types of Self-Care Without systems set up to address personal needs, it’s easy to end up feeling like we are perpetually playing a game of whack-a-mole. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/71aedbd7-b821-44f3-9910-af91772d03f2/Untitled+design+%2879%29.jpg Blog - 10 Types of Self-Care - Self-care is intentionally prioritizing our holistic needs. https://www.sparrowsnestcounseling.com/blog/journal-prompts-for-advent monthly 0.5 2025-05-05 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/ccc4f6e4-b2bc-479d-be1f-50aa03872d9f/Untitled+design+%2876%29.jpg Blog - Journal Prompts for Advent - being with family being with traditions being with beauty being at church being in awe of God being still https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/72a065f1-b1b9-4748-8162-0db769096621/Untitled+design+%2873%29.jpg Blog - Journal Prompts for Advent - On an advent wreath, each candle has a meaning. I am sure there is probably a meaning to why three of the candles are purple and one is pink, but I have never looked that up. I’ve always thought it was weird, I mean, green and red would make more sense, right? But for me, it adds to the specialness of the wreath. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/a47852c2-de46-4ca6-93f9-6c078efb3362/Untitled+design+%2875%29.jpg Blog - Journal Prompts for Advent - Find some time to write a prayer thanking Him for the ways He has shown up for you this year, and pouring out your joys and sorrows and hopes for the next year. Pour out your hopes, dreams, thoughts, concerns about the upcoming year. It’s okay if you do this after Christmas – in fact you may have more clarity on this as you approach the new year. https://www.sparrowsnestcounseling.com/blog/dont-let-perceived-expectations-ruin-holidays monthly 0.5 2025-11-25 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/3d1b40b2-3778-44e0-bb65-0d8c7f2e50e3/Untitled+design+%2871%29.jpg Blog - Don’t Let Your Brain Ruin Your Holidays (Revisited) - Have you ever noticed that when you are good and mad at someone, everything they do is just bad and disgusting and horrible? I mean, they can even breathe wrong. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/a4fad12f-54c6-4467-aacf-9c8f5ba03aee/IMG_20221120_110004_104+%281%29.jpg Blog - Don’t Let Your Brain Ruin Your Holidays (Revisited) - I assumed, on our first Thanksgiving together, that everything must be from scratch, so I figured it out, all the way down to cranberry sauce that would give Martha Stewart cause to up her game. We sat down at the table, and my husband admired the wondrous spread but said, “Where’s the cranberry sauce?” He did not even recognize my fancy-from-scratch-cranberry sauce as cranberry sauce! For him, it just isn’t Thanksgiving unless there are slices of jellied cranberry sauce, straight from a can, on the table (more proof that his mother didn’t cook everything from scratch). This speaks to his expectation “It’s not cranberry sauce if you can’t slice it.” https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1668631121138-6WU90MZICOHNF3P3EXPN/unsplash-image-ZrhtQyGFG6s.jpg Blog - Don’t Let Your Brain Ruin Your Holidays (Revisited) - Compassion and understanding shows up when we try to expand our polarized mindsets to include some alternate possibilities. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/44850da5-b5e1-4fff-a5de-cf0fb8b40bbd/Untitled+design+%2872%29.jpg Blog - Don’t Let Your Brain Ruin Your Holidays (Revisited) - First of all, did you ask for help? Or did they offer and you said “No, I got it.” Because that happens. https://www.sparrowsnestcounseling.com/blog/creating-a-habit-of-gratitude monthly 0.5 2025-11-03 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/a6570b4d-f847-4cf9-8723-be44d62550cb/Untitled+design+%2867%29.jpg Blog - Creating a Habit of Gratitude - Many strategies to incorporate gratitude involve keeping a journal of some type. I am a big fan of writing things down. Personally, it feels like things just sink in more for me when I write instead of type, but I know there are people who will never do it if they have to write. There are additional modalities to express gratitude as well. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/301a069a-0f5f-4752-afe6-bd834518f036/Untitled+design+%2870%29.jpg Blog - Creating a Habit of Gratitude - Gratitude is great as an individual discipline, but it is something you can do with others, too. If you want to start instilling gratitude as a habit in your children, or if you are aware that you are someone who is breaking generational cycles in your family, you may want to incorporate some of these ideas. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/feae922f-a3f9-4537-8b1f-d4808f58723e/Untitled+design+%2869%29.jpg Blog - Creating a Habit of Gratitude - When you start working on gratitude it becomes easier to find things to be grateful for. https://www.sparrowsnestcounseling.com/blog/get-ready-for-the-holidays-with-intentionality-47rp9 monthly 0.5 2025-05-05 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/5d560f30-08fa-4eb4-b5d1-1636491a2f5c/Untitled+design+%2861%29.jpg Blog - Get Ready for the Holidays with Intentionality (Revisited) - Anyone else have an over-the-top Christmas part of yourself? I know I am not the only one! While I keep her hidden until after Thanksgiving, I do start covertly preparing for Christmas earlier than that. There is a lot about the way we celebrate Christmas in our culture that feels overwhelming and full of pressure, increasing anxiety for women who are trying to do it all. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/a330b0c9-f62a-4037-bbb5-606ec3049de6/Untitled+design+%2862%29.jpg Blog - Get Ready for the Holidays with Intentionality (Revisited) - I think the best word to describe the holidays (the way our culture celebrates) is “extra.” Extra spiritual meaning and celebration. Extra festive décor, music, memories, and traditions. Extra family, friends, parties, and events. Extra “special” food and alcohol. Extra giving, thoughtfulness, and goodwill. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1667563486274-U5Z3V1I5U7IJO0QFYA5P/unsplash-image-X1KB4VoMqBo.jpg Blog - Get Ready for the Holidays with Intentionality (Revisited) - The title of my talk was “Simplify Christmas” and my main idea was that there are two P’s of Christmas that bring true peace at Christmas. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/a34a8e25-efbf-4958-8ec0-17c29fe7f2e0/Untitled+design+%2863%29.jpg Blog - Get Ready for the Holidays with Intentionality (Revisited) - Take gingerbread houses, for example. My kids used that activity as an excuse to get hopped up on sugar more than they get into building gingerbread houses, and who needs extra sugar in this season? And the mess; candy and sprinkles all over the table and floor, sticky royal icing smears on the chairs, walls, and table. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1667212450720-3SBGR1DLPYUM7G2BG1X0/unsplash-image-hWS8D6u6nks.jpg Blog - Get Ready for the Holidays with Intentionality (Revisited) - I am here if you need some extra support to get through the next couple of months. https://www.sparrowsnestcounseling.com/blog/internal-resources-for-resilience monthly 0.5 2025-05-05 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/faf4b245-b9a2-4827-b226-2fa6278769bb/Untitled+design+%2866%29.jpg Blog - Internal Resources for Resilience - Emotions swirling, swirling. Actually it’s not like a press conference, it’s like I am caught up in a tornado of frenzied emotions, tasks, accusations. Hanging on until I can get away from people, away from stressors, but they just. keep. coming. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/782cb0ec-c3b8-4658-a5e5-71b537808d8e/in+my+control.jpg Blog - Internal Resources for Resilience - When we focus on those internal resources, we focus on what we can control: our thoughts, our feelings, our actions. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/2621fddd-e008-49c2-8cea-bd8599c8d622/Untitled+design+%2865%29.jpg Blog - Internal Resources for Resilience - Sometimes we all need to borrow someone else’s hope until we are confident enough to build our own. I am happy to lend it. https://www.sparrowsnestcounseling.com/blog/what-is-resilience monthly 0.5 2025-05-05 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/dc11da93-a222-4545-908d-d5f9ea3ffba3/Untitled+design+%2860%29.jpg Blog - What is Resilience? - Trauma can be anything that overwhelmed your brain’s capacity to handle it at that time. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/176e064a-5880-4d34-bb1e-25b12ca666ff/Untitled+design+%2854%29.jpg Blog - What is Resilience? - I really love the way Froma Walsh captures resilience as “bouncing forward to face an uncertain future” (2002, p. 35). Our belief system changed, so we are truly bouncing into something new. Usually, we grow through the struggles, so we may find ourselves bouncing forward in a new way. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/79d8decd-04ae-4901-8ccd-62d9ed3e0104/Untitled+design+%2857%29.jpg Blog - What is Resilience? - I believe we are hard-wired to need other people. None of us can do all the things, all the time, by ourselves. We need help. We need company. We need to feel not-alone. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/7b7f7251-f55d-43ea-949d-700cceb4a3b5/Untitled+design+%2852%29.jpg Blog - What is Resilience? - We can’t control the cards that are dealt to us, but we can learn how to play the cards we have and develop skill and wisdom to accumulate more cards that will be useful in the future. https://www.sparrowsnestcounseling.com/blog/6-tips-to-create-balance-in-your-schedule monthly 0.5 2025-05-05 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1e8b09ed-1d18-4106-8ff9-51dd45eccab3/Untitled+design+%2840%29.jpg Blog - 5 Tips to Create Balance in your Schedule - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/d1212425-c7f2-405c-8de4-1203505cc865/Untitled+design+%2841%29.jpg Blog - 5 Tips to Create Balance in your Schedule - I define extras as anything outside of predictable, recurring events (like work, church, any weekly classes or groups you might be in). Sometimes there are seasonal ebbs and flows, for example, when I had kids in marching band we knew that almost every Friday night we would be going to a football game, and Saturdays we would be going to band competitions. Friday and Saturday band activities became part of our normal, but just for a few months (things like that make up those “predictably busy seasons in #1). https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/93656ecc-72b4-49ca-a777-bb39a9df7a6f/Untitled+design+%2842%29.jpg Blog - 5 Tips to Create Balance in your Schedule - Give your loved ones a heads up if you have a lot going on in one area of your life, especially if they may need to pick up some slack in the other areas that you usually handle. https://www.sparrowsnestcounseling.com/blog/5-strategies-to-address-people-pleasing monthly 0.5 2025-05-05 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1696342916035-LHHEBQKS93VZFNC704DS/image-asset.jpeg Blog - 5 Strategies to Address People Pleasing - Whose opinions matter most to me? Why? How am I different from them (whoever I am trying to please)? How am I the same? What are the things I hide from everyone? What are my wildest, albeit secret dreams? What am I afraid will happen if I disagree with someone? What am I afraid will happen if someone misunderstands me? Who are people I consider friends? Do I let them know my real self? Is it ok for people to think differently than me? Why or why not? Where do I get my sense of worth? What makes me feel resentful? Unappreciated? (These are often - but not always - indicators that there is some people pleasing happening) If I could do anything without anyone stopping me, what would it be? (doesn’t have to be realistic) What is stopping me? https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/5a5ada5f-4a91-4d51-9554-5829388cd8ee/Untitled+design+%2837%29.jpg Blog - 5 Strategies to Address People Pleasing - When you work on noticing what is good, what went well, what part you played in making it go well, what was fun, what you are thankful for...you teach your brain to look for that, too. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/41f72b82-996b-4c53-ae97-3d7903c90a9c/Untitled+design+%2839%29.jpg Blog - 5 Strategies to Address People Pleasing - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://www.sparrowsnestcounseling.com/blog/people-pleasing-blocks-connection monthly 0.5 2025-05-05 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/6c2b72d8-a7c3-4aa5-97f5-20447d28fc60/Untitled+design+%2834%29.jpg Blog - People Pleasing Blocks Connection - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/377c8846-8fad-462e-ae38-7b11e35c0b54/Untitled+design+%2835%29.jpg Blog - People Pleasing Blocks Connection - We internalize the message that it is just not safe to be ourselves, and yet we long to be known, loved, and accepted as ourselves. We think we want to fit in, but what we really want is to belong. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1fefeca3-1f99-445e-9c9a-379403259a68/Untitled+design+%2836%29.jpg Blog - People Pleasing Blocks Connection - A counselor is going to help you discover what your values are, what your strengths are, and cheer you on the whole way. A trauma counselor can help you figure out what caused you to start coping this way. Your therapist can support you in reprocessing the trauma (even if nobody else would call it a trauma) so you can find freedom from those automatic reactions that fuel urgency and desperation in your interactions. Counseling can help you figure out boundaries to set with people that bring out the people-pleasing behaviors in you. https://www.sparrowsnestcounseling.com/blog/five-tips-to-start-overcoming-people-pleasing-revisited monthly 0.5 2025-05-05 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1694635680514-IH4PTCH9GHCS2LGUCM61/image-asset.jpeg Blog - 5 Ways to Free Yourself from the Anxiety of People-Pleasing (Revisited) - My overarching goal was to help women step into their value, voice, and peace. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/0a3b8827-8454-44c5-804b-2fca33c6c3e1/pexels-ivan-samkov-4240502.jpg Blog - 5 Ways to Free Yourself from the Anxiety of People-Pleasing (Revisited) - There is a time and a place to do for others. A balance to care for yourself and to care for others. (photo credit: pexels-ivan-samkov-4240502) https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1c9bb9a6-3f9c-4049-8913-2014dc59c2ad/%287-29-2022%29+183_pp2.jpg Blog - 5 Ways to Free Yourself from the Anxiety of People-Pleasing (Revisited) - In fact, the reason I am putting this picture of me in this post is because it was my favorite picture from my photo session, but someone close to me thought it was a weird pose. As I considered whether to select this photo for the package I would buy or not, I thought of my people-pleasing past. I decided I needed this picture to remind myself that I need to let my own opinion matter. https://www.sparrowsnestcounseling.com/blog/people-pleasing-vs-codependency monthly 0.5 2025-05-05 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/e34df158-3fac-4b43-afc1-1f0bd40cc51e/Add+a+subheading.jpg Blog - People Pleasing vs. Codependency - I see it as a loose continuum. I say that it is loose because even though I will describe boundaries between “just a nice person,” “people pleasing,” and “codependent,” the reality is that we all can dance back and forth across this spectrum. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/3d42486e-08ba-44c1-8335-584fb61f7cde/Untitled+design+%2814%29.jpg Blog - People Pleasing vs. Codependency - You might be exhausted, wishing people would just appreciate you and return the favors you so abundantly give. You may feel lonely, like something is missing in your relationships. You might be “on” all the time, because people need you to manage their lives for them. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/551f6c4a-8e04-44c5-ad6a-5fbf1eaa32b0/Untitled+design+%2815%29.jpg Blog - People Pleasing vs. Codependency - They tend to struggle with: identity self-esteem resentment guilt setting boundaries https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/26623463-6a1c-4d1d-b155-220b3ec6314b/Untitled+design+%287%29.jpg Blog - People Pleasing vs. Codependency - Make it stand out Photo Credit AndreyPopov by Getty Images https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/d1557ef3-ff56-4307-9788-ceb08259b2f8/Untitled+design+%2816%29.jpg Blog - People Pleasing vs. Codependency - If this is your struggle, I can offer the good news that it is possible to learn another way to interact with people in your life. https://www.sparrowsnestcounseling.com/blog/bible-verses-to-keep-people-pleasing-in-check monthly 0.5 2025-11-03 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1330bcb3-8b72-4ab8-a329-33d19e0bde86/Untitled+design+%283%29.jpg Blog - Bible Verses to Keep People-Pleasing in Check - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1693855727324-CVZJVQ870KQWJ5QCF2A1/image-asset.jpeg Blog - Bible Verses to Keep People-Pleasing in Check - I have been a Christian for a long time, and I haven’t seen anything in the Bible that tells me I should do everything that other people want me to do. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/d829abdd-08da-47a4-9134-c0bbc78ccca9/Untitled+design+%284%29.jpg Blog - Bible Verses to Keep People-Pleasing in Check - God equips us with different gifts, and these gifts get used in different ways, at different times. We do not have to say yes to everything, because when we do that we do not have the time or energy to say yes to things that use our God-given gifts. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/ed3cd401-b0b0-436d-a6c0-ac8164d375bc/Untitled+design+%285%29.jpg Blog - Bible Verses to Keep People-Pleasing in Check - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://www.sparrowsnestcounseling.com/blog/internal-motivations-people-pleasers monthly 0.5 2025-05-05 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1693079701941-L4C1D2VB4RP59L04TG0G/image-asset.jpeg Blog - Internal Motivations of People Pleasers - Pleasing others, helping them, is a good thing, right? https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/eb7238db-0ac4-4ef7-9f77-1bbecfa5f652/Untitled+design.jpg Blog - Internal Motivations of People Pleasers - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/6f26e23b-da3a-41e8-8f50-0d89085d7fe4/Untitled+design+%281%29.jpg Blog - Internal Motivations of People Pleasers - You don’t make waves. You learn that it is easier to not have emotions or needs. Setting boundaries is out of the question. It is hard to say no to people. Sometimes you apologize for things that are not your fault, just because you want to keep the peace. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/38c9e4f3-c416-4edd-b70f-edc53eb16d9f/Untitled+design+%282%29.jpg Blog - Internal Motivations of People Pleasers - You do not have to make everyone else happy all the time. In fact, you can’t make everyone happy all the time! https://www.sparrowsnestcounseling.com/blog/journal-prompts-for-military-spouses monthly 0.5 2025-11-03 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/81fa80cd-a3c4-4f6c-a206-c59da4899798/1107+Family+Pic+with+C5.JPG Blog - Journal Prompts for Military Spouses - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1692113808044-C42B4OIYZU6Y4XR471E4/image-asset.jpeg Blog - Journal Prompts for Military Spouses - Journaling is one of my own personal tools for staying mentally healthy. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1692114454495-ZV954YX9GC6P7TYK3T2H/image-asset.jpeg Blog - Journal Prompts for Military Spouses - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://www.sparrowsnestcounseling.com/blog/welcome-war-college-spouses monthly 0.5 2025-11-03 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/7a0ce5eb-1460-48cb-8598-c035ea93f81b/T+%2858%29.jpg Blog - Welcome, War College Spouses! - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1690811100121-VM1N3IKVIRB7E8263ZDU/image-asset.jpeg Blog - Welcome, War College Spouses! - For me, that assignment was the earthquake that caused my own personal volcano to erupt. Stuff I had been holding in came spewing out with a vengeance. At first I thought the “lava” was all my husband’s and the military’s doings. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/846ef8dc-888d-4391-b1d9-c1d6a17489fd/FB_IMG_1690489055952.jpg Blog - Welcome, War College Spouses! - I get the struggles of this lifestyle. I get the joys, too. I get the big picture, the why behind “service over self,” but I see ways that “self” needs some attention, too. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/55e6186d-1e43-4fc5-ac0e-a11b55db7502/%287-28-2022%29a+163_pp2.JPG Blog - Welcome, War College Spouses! - If you are wanting to get into therapy yourself, I am a resource. I see women and work with issues of anxiety and underlying trauma. I also offer Christian counseling for those who want to incorporate God into therapy. https://www.sparrowsnestcounseling.com/blog/10-tips-for-finding-a-therapist monthly 0.5 2025-11-03 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/624fd67e-8c48-4ae5-861e-599b95513e04/T+%281%29.jpg Blog - 10 Tips for Finding a Therapist - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/cf48fcb5-a8f0-480a-9427-20f28413398b/T+%283%29.jpg Blog - 10 Tips for Finding a Therapist - Many therapists will offer a 15 minute phone consultation, which helps them assess whether you will initially be a good fit to work together. It’s not a very long phone call, so you will want to refrain from getting into all the details of what is prompting you to seek counseling. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/28137458-df1d-42bc-9de7-520f72d68132/T+%284%29.jpg Blog - 10 Tips for Finding a Therapist - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://www.sparrowsnestcounseling.com/blog/barriers-military-spouses-mental-health-help monthly 0.5 2025-11-03 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/b8579d2b-8efe-4cdb-9f7b-ff20e219d5e3/T+%2816%29.jpg Blog - Barriers Military Spouses Face in Getting Mental Health Help One study found that spouses wanted to shelter their service member spouse from having to worry about home life or possible career consequences that could unfurl if anyone found out a family member had mental health problems (4). https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/b74d241e-60ca-4c80-83e3-121f04ccd621/T+%2817%29.jpg Blog - Barriers Military Spouses Face in Getting Mental Health Help - The demands of a service member’s job can bring an atmosphere of unpredictability to the home. Spouses with children may be struggling to juggle time to schedule the routine things in life, much less fit in a weekly therapy session. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/f848478b-135d-4e1e-a061-8339ab3652f4/T+%2818%29.jpg Blog - Barriers Military Spouses Face in Getting Mental Health Help - Her words were life-giving to me, and very different from what I had heard from other military spouses along the way. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/3e2651b6-6cae-4b62-99db-1249a5ac833f/T+%2819%29.jpg Blog - Barriers Military Spouses Face in Getting Mental Health Help - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://www.sparrowsnestcounseling.com/blog/hidden-mental-health-problems-military-spouses monthly 0.5 2025-11-03 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/dbbbe454-a29d-4736-b887-b868fce6f8be/T+%2820%29.jpg Blog - How Nonmilitary Stressors Become Mental Health Problems for Military Spouses…and Get Missed - My internal drill sergeant told me to “Suck it up, Buttercup”. Sadly, for me, that was also the voice of some older, more experienced military spouses when I dared to dip my toe into the waters of vulnerability and ask for support. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/8b431a69-c764-4e81-8334-39a77a251fc5/T+%2821%29.jpg Blog - How Nonmilitary Stressors Become Mental Health Problems for Military Spouses…and Get Missed - Those boxes they move from duty station to duty station but keep them sealed, stored away in an attic or a garage. Those boxes they are ashamed of. They are scary; once we open them we are afraid we can’t control what is in them. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/931cf393-95ce-40c1-a914-d055a765aa58/T.png Blog - How Nonmilitary Stressors Become Mental Health Problems for Military Spouses…and Get Missed - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1c89f709-8c67-4892-8c01-f774a163bbc8/T+%2822%29.jpg Blog - How Nonmilitary Stressors Become Mental Health Problems for Military Spouses…and Get Missed - Think about the fact that we all know not to touch a hot stove. Either we did it and learned it the hard way, or our parents told us over and over again that we would get burned if we touched something hot. Our brains learned to be aware of the dangers of hot stoves, so they can go on autopilot to protect us. We don’t have to think about not touching that stove, because our brains have got us covered. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1b4386bc-e703-472d-9cad-e9497a3ebbe9/T+%2823%29.jpg Blog - How Nonmilitary Stressors Become Mental Health Problems for Military Spouses…and Get Missed - It is possible to open the boxes and deal with the stuff. https://www.sparrowsnestcounseling.com/blog/military-spouses-mental-health-on-the-back-burner monthly 0.5 2025-11-03 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/0341a539-d8a2-4781-b8be-d9dc700fe2b8/T+%2824%29.jpg Blog - Common Ways Military Spouses Keep Their Mental Health on the Back Burner - You are in a hotel room or, if you are lucky, a TLF, with all of your stuff packed up on a moving truck somewhere. Maybe you’ve been visiting family or long distance friends on your trek from one duty station to another. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/f1438b7f-2bde-4d96-967a-df95e5a3e266/T+%2825%29.jpg Blog - Common Ways Military Spouses Keep Their Mental Health on the Back Burner - We let our mental health issues simmer on the back burner because we feel like there is no time to focus on our mental health. We may also feel some shame around the fact that we might need some help. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/7798b46a-f5bd-430a-a685-1bf2cd5ed2e3/T+%2826%29.jpg Blog - Common Ways Military Spouses Keep Their Mental Health on the Back Burner - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/e2c4ba61-cee7-4d9a-a569-b39c9beebd39/T+%2827%29.jpg Blog - Common Ways Military Spouses Keep Their Mental Health on the Back Burner - Your whole house will smell, the smoke alarm could go off, and the house could even catch fire. This kind of crisis doesn’t tend to happen at convenient times. (Like there ever is a convenient time for a crisis.) https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/89466a20-677b-47da-8f93-6d9900f12065/T+%2828%29.jpg Blog - Common Ways Military Spouses Keep Their Mental Health on the Back Burner - If you just moved to a new duty station, now is the time to start looking for a counselor. https://www.sparrowsnestcounseling.com/blog/10-tips-managing-mixed-emotions-military-pcs monthly 0.5 2025-05-01 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/9f8f1516-fcb8-472f-805c-4dffcdd164db/T+%2854%29.jpg Blog - 10 Tips for Managing Mixed Emotions (Especially During a Military PCS) - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1686588575397-XAJNBCPWG5PFN63PJ258/image-asset.jpeg Blog - 10 Tips for Managing Mixed Emotions (Especially During a Military PCS) - All the while, we are managing the sadness of leaving friends, the end of a personal era, regrets of opportunities we maybe did not take during our time at that location, and the emotions of those we are leaving. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/eb9c6c9a-38f7-4ce9-b57e-aaf0d1fb3fc7/T+%2855%29.jpg Blog - 10 Tips for Managing Mixed Emotions (Especially During a Military PCS) - If you are PCSing to Carlisle Barracks, I am here to help! You may be coming to this duty station with some emotional boxes that need to be unpacked. I have a soft spot in my heart for military spouses. Please reach out securely on my website or give me a call (717-219-4339). https://www.sparrowsnestcounseling.com/blog/10-questions-mindreading monthly 0.5 2025-11-03 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/2b41d81c-65e9-4537-adf1-e2bb0f504c70/T+%2852%29.jpg Blog - 10 Questions to Ask When You Catch Yourself Mindreading - When we engage in mindreading we have these (often inaccurate) ideas of what other people are thinking. And we just know we are right. This becomes a habitual pattern; we do it without even realizing we are doing it. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/9267cd4f-029d-49c6-8fe0-368b3d6d1322/T+%2853%29.jpg Blog - 10 Questions to Ask When You Catch Yourself Mindreading - There is so much freedom that comes from letting the thoughts of other people just stay in their heads. Their thoughts are not your business. No matter how hard you try, you can’t control what people think about you. You can, however, control your own thoughts. https://www.sparrowsnestcounseling.com/blog/supporting-someone-who-is-working-on-their-mental-health-part-4-the-process monthly 0.5 2025-05-01 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/87714dc5-032f-4cf4-ba72-bdcfc781f5f3/T+%2847%29.jpg Blog - Supporting Someone Who Is Working On Their Mental Health, Part 4: The Process - Let’s use teacups as an example. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/aae1d694-cb7e-47c2-a56c-3c3ee5fed7cd/T+%2848%29.jpg Blog - Supporting Someone Who Is Working On Their Mental Health, Part 4: The Process - A person’s traumatic memories can be like those dishes. We see the whole big overwhelming mess as one looming thing and don’t realize that there are smaller parts to it. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1683902125818-98WX83EXIGVX6IHO1D1S/image-asset.jpeg Blog - Supporting Someone Who Is Working On Their Mental Health, Part 4: The Process - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://www.sparrowsnestcounseling.com/blog/supporting-someone-who-is-working-on-their-mental-health-part-3-choice-amp-voice monthly 0.5 2025-05-01 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/428b168b-fc11-4d18-947a-27dad4d30706/T+%2844%29.jpg Blog - Supporting Someone Who is Working on their Mental Health, Part 3: Choice & Voice - Therapy can be a hard thing for everyone involved, because mental health struggles are a hard thing for everyone involved. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/2928a4e5-6462-4832-8645-9c7a927a7949/T+%2845%29.jpg Blog - Supporting Someone Who is Working on their Mental Health, Part 3: Choice & Voice - There may be some things you both need to work on to help “yes” be the choice she wants to make. Couple’s counseling is not always necessary if you can understand that she could just be working through some past things and needs to be able to be really confident that her “no” actually means “no.” (And I am not only talking about sex here - this could apply to a number of behaviors/activities/types of interactions that just do not feel ok to her right now). It is also possible that you can ask to join one of her therapy sessions - not for couples work but to talk to her therapist together about how you can better understand the choices she needs to make. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/55a55755-7c11-459d-8f4a-b515177bcc22/T+%2846%29.jpg Blog - Supporting Someone Who is Working on their Mental Health, Part 3: Choice & Voice - She may be speaking up more, letting you know when something you are doing is not okay with her. Maybe she just surprises you by voicing an opinion. She may be setting boundaries with you. https://www.sparrowsnestcounseling.com/blog/supporting-someone-who-is-working-on-their-mental-health-part-2-cultivate-empathy monthly 0.5 2025-05-01 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/f4085216-fba5-448c-aa8a-2985a5271154/T+%2842%29.jpg Blog - Supporting Someone Who Is Working on Their Mental Health, Part 2: Cultivate Empathy - Empathy is trying so very hard to understand what life is like for another person. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/c68c7f4e-33c0-47ce-86bc-8727830b5b5b/T+%2843%29.jpg Blog - Supporting Someone Who Is Working on Their Mental Health, Part 2: Cultivate Empathy - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://www.sparrowsnestcounseling.com/blog/supporting-someone-who-is-working-on-their-mental-health-part-1-be-mentally-healthy-yourself monthly 0.5 2025-05-01 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/8de049c0-f0c6-4eb7-9005-344c44ac5ecc/T+%2839%29.jpg Blog - Supporting Someone Who Is Working on Their Mental Health, Part 1: Be Mentally Healthy Yourself - We tend to be quick with solutions (and this is not just men who do this, contrary to popular belief). We want so badly to fix it for them, because we want to see them feel better. There is a benefit to us, as the supporter, if they feel better sooner. It can feel uncomfortable to sit with someone who is struggling. We feel powerless, and sometimes we feel responsible for their emotions. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/43bfbef0-b460-4e30-acf5-2a792f40989f/T+%2840%29.jpg Blog - Supporting Someone Who Is Working on Their Mental Health, Part 1: Be Mentally Healthy Yourself - When someone is working on their mental health struggles in therapy and they can spend time with someone who effectively supports their efforts it can make a huge difference in the progress they can make. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/8ba6c880-536f-4515-a2e9-fad39ebbc873/T+%2841%29.jpg Blog - Supporting Someone Who Is Working on Their Mental Health, Part 1: Be Mentally Healthy Yourself - If this is the case, it can feel easier to the person working on their mental health puzzle to just find a way to exclude you from their process. Which just gives them more puzzle pieces to work on (and keeps you in the dark about understanding what is going on with them). https://www.sparrowsnestcounseling.com/blog/worklife-balance-and-the-demanding-job monthly 0.5 2025-05-01 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/b95dedc8-07a7-4bd9-86e5-d453ac890b51/T+%2837%29.jpg Blog - Work/Life Balance and the Demanding Job - Have you ever tried to stand on one leg for any length of time? Go ahead, try it. Notice how you have to make adjustments one way and another to make it happen. If you are about to fall to one side, you may need to make a huge adjustment to keep the pose. It’s not just a perfect standstill, but an ever-moving process. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/bdadef95-349a-4ed1-bc35-0ae8d22843e2/T+%2838%29.jpg Blog - Work/Life Balance and the Demanding Job - There is an ebb and flow that can restore balance on a greater scale, so we can give some grace with the expectation of daily balance. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/211b140c-2da3-40ba-b64f-5c04d9811485/T+%2856%29.jpg Blog - Work/Life Balance and the Demanding Job - In situations where balance is extremely hard to find, it is important to communicate. Find ways to express your needs to your partner. They may not be able to meet them, but speaking up can remind you and your spouse that you are allowed to have needs. It gives honest information about how the job is affecting you. Expressing your needs can get the two of you thinking outside the box for ways you can try to meet those needs in unconventional ways. https://www.sparrowsnestcounseling.com/blog/journaling-for-perfectionism monthly 0.5 2025-11-03 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1677862095209-K9BL9UZBP4OIHKHIAZY8/unsplash-image-0I75875sRVU.jpg Blog - Journaling for Perfectionism - I know I talk about journaling a lot. But that is because it is SUCH a good option for self-help! I consider it part of my self-care. Not only does journaling help me get control of my thoughts and feelings, when I take the time to do this I can also be more pleasantly present with my family. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1677862300632-Q1MSSKBK8C8MWJ5D0F8O/unsplash-image-CKlHKtCJZKk.jpg Blog - Journaling for Perfectionism - I am a big fan of making lists when journaling, so I would challenge you to take these suggestions and write about them, but also use them as prompts to make lists. The trick to this is to give yourself a number of things to come up with – I usually go with 20. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1677862462516-EINZ9A4QFJFSK95V1W34/unsplash-image-9pjBx5uVBlg.jpg Blog - Journaling for Perfectionism - Journaling perfectly is journaling in a way that benefits you. https://www.sparrowsnestcounseling.com/blog/perfectionism-core-belief-not-good-enough monthly 0.5 2025-05-01 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1677858388855-FLLABU9CUV7CHLVG8U0Z/unsplash-image-e6fcNpur53A.jpg Blog - Perfectionism and the Core Belief of “Not Good Enough” - We collect these evidences and carry them around, like rocks in a bag. They weigh us down and slow us down. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1677859063007-2P37KFSHCDDXGHFSCCDW/unsplash-image-6rGLwZUiLmo.jpg Blog - Perfectionism and the Core Belief of “Not Good Enough” - I have always been ashamed of my big feet. In fact, in high school I squeezed myself into a pair of ski boots one size too small because my real size was a different color than the smaller sizes and everyone would know how big my feet were. As a result, I couldn’t make it through my ski lesson and ended up spending the day by myself instead of skiing with the rest of the youth group. https://www.sparrowsnestcounseling.com/blog/the-perfectionist-and-time-management monthly 0.5 2025-05-01 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1677532283391-V8D7AIGA90WFE7S1NH0V/unsplash-image-FlHdnPO6dlw.jpg Blog - The Perfectionist and Time Management - Time management is often a huge issue for perfectionists. I wrote about three types of perfectionists in a previous blog. Time management impacts all three. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/a33741b7-5479-49c0-a2d3-6d559dc4c967/T+%2835%29.jpg Blog - The Perfectionist and Time Management - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1677532913016-D9N5WHG0EXRV6RED0K9B/unsplash-image-qVi-ma94TrU.jpg Blog - The Perfectionist and Time Management - I used to be a ballet dancer. It’s easy to look at ballet dancers and admire how graceful and effortlessly they dance, with their straight legs, perfectly pointed toes, and smiles on their faces. We don’t see the hours of strenuous practice, harsh instructors, bleeding toes, fierce competition, sweat, isolation from “real life”, and even eating disorders that go into that effortless graceful performance. https://www.sparrowsnestcounseling.com/blog/what-is-perfectionism monthly 0.5 2025-05-01 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1677523397468-DEHRLZPY0R1ZWVCGY9LP/unsplash-image-NDl-oFTE2ic.jpg Blog - What is Perfectionism? - Marie sits at her laptop, paralyzed. No words come to her mind, because no words could possibly be perfect enough for the project she has undertaken. The blinking cursor on the blank page taunts her, not-enough, not-enough, not-enough, never-enough. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/f9f4ca86-e98c-4b52-b2e1-094e96c125ed/T+%2833%29.jpg Blog - What is Perfectionism? - A disciplined, hard worker, Felicia achieved a great deal of success. She built a business by hustling and taking every opportunity along the way. She expects those who work for her to do the same. Nobody leaves the office until she calls it a day. No days off, that’s what weekends are for. She considers her deadlines logical because she bases them on how quickly she could accomplish the task. “If I can do it, they can do it,” she reasons. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/888d63d2-b7ee-483c-9f13-35a461a39baa/T+%2834%29.jpg Blog - What is Perfectionism? - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://www.sparrowsnestcounseling.com/blog/communicating-boundaries monthly 0.5 2025-05-01 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/c69a0f5d-4a55-4d52-9539-2addbc3c0593/T+%2831%29.jpg Blog - Communicating Boundaries - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/e458805f-1c4c-4e71-8c38-d9e51680a107/T+%2832%29.jpg Blog - Communicating Boundaries - Almost certainly we all could use a minute to remind ourselves to be open to the perspective of other people. We want this to be a conversation, not just one person broadcasting to another person. https://www.sparrowsnestcounseling.com/blog/5-markers-of-good-boundaries monthly 0.5 2025-11-03 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/3074577b-bfa8-4bd2-bb98-22fd55b25373/T+%2829%29.jpg Blog - 5 Markers of Good Boundaries - We have spent some time this month gaining an understanding of what boundaries actually are and why it is helpful to set them. We focused on the importance of knowing ourselves and what we want in life as necessary work to do before we try to set boundaries. I gave you some journaling prompts on how to do some of that self-discovery work. Now are we ready to set the boundaries? https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1676663501192-J1ORGLJJBXN8F3SWXY30/unsplash-image-ALpPwATkkwc.jpg Blog - 5 Markers of Good Boundaries - This is where you need to stop imagining what other people are thinking, because what you need might seem silly to them (or at least you have thoughts that it is silly to them – there is usually a big difference between what they are thinking and what you think they are thinking). https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/3eafa047-fe00-458f-9456-2644bf24b6d0/T+%2830%29.jpg Blog - 5 Markers of Good Boundaries - If I were to set a boundary in my home that my husband opposed, it wouldn’t go very well. We would need to have some talks behind closed doors to define the boundary before we communicate it to our family members. I’ll be honest, we have had some hiccups with this one sometimes! It took us a while for us to learn that when we worked as a team on the front end, our different perspectives help us set boundaries that actually meet the spirit of the issue and are things we are willing to enforce. https://www.sparrowsnestcounseling.com/blog/5-myths-about-boundaries monthly 0.5 2025-05-01 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1676309792400-S8F9ELEFDCOFRMJE5EUQ/unsplash-image-0GFNAelMPZA.jpg Blog - 5 Myths About Boundaries - It’s easy to think that boundaries are about walling ourselves off from “toxic” people. This word “toxic” is often overused and misused, but that is another topic for another time. In pop culture, “toxic” seems to capture anyone who doesn’t agree 100% with what we think or feel (and this usually includes anyone who has set a boundary). https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1676310059985-SJVADZBH7RB864JCSPOZ/unsplash-image-ysiOlHXJM38.jpg Blog - 5 Myths About Boundaries - Boundaries help us find a way to co-exist in relationships that are important to us. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1676310252395-U9IC91R1BG6EIGAEOEK7/unsplash-image-zb3dGZAcUbU.jpg Blog - 5 Myths About Boundaries - But is there really virtue in giving until you are just a stump? https://www.sparrowsnestcounseling.com/blog/journal-prompts-for-self-discovery monthly 0.5 2025-05-01 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1675106356115-0BNOTPYJ6LI0YOO11W04/unsplash-image-4mosKfnbGhI.jpg Blog - Journal Prompts for Self-Discovery - Last week I wrote about the importance of knowing ourselves before we can set boundaries with ourselves. This is one of those tasks that is simple, but not easy. When we have years of experience bending and flexing to match our perceptions of what others want us to be, it’s hard to even know where to begin figuring out who we are, what we like and don’t like. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1675106129525-1LQG6TYRETS5NAB1FZ2W/unsplash-image-WA_O4UAUfxc.jpg Blog - Journal Prompts for Self-Discovery - Previously, I recommended journaling to get started with this. Journaling is a way to hash this stuff out privately, which can feel less scary. https://www.sparrowsnestcounseling.com/blog/7-steps-to-set-boundaries-with-yourself monthly 0.5 2025-05-01 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1673903204630-QDBKUK6QYFWYZI3FSA6X/unsplash-image-Mx5kwvzeGC0.jpg Blog - 7 Steps to Set Boundaries with Yourself - Good relationships don’t just happen; they require work. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/86a5d160-7480-4858-bcbb-31177762e6ea/IMG_0060.JPG Blog - 7 Steps to Set Boundaries with Yourself - My husband (being the good guy that he is) was open to hearing all of this because he loved me and wanted to know me. He never expected me to morph into his perception of perfection. Sure we had some hiccups when I started disagreeing with him, because it was new. I had to get used to speaking up and he had to get used to hearing things that surprised him. https://www.sparrowsnestcounseling.com/blog/4-steps-to-manage-imposter-syndrome monthly 0.5 2025-05-01 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1671641645603-AV5C7CDNESP2U55DV9HW/unsplash-image-bmJAXAz6ads.jpg Blog - 4 Steps to Manage Imposter Syndrome - You notice an email from your boss. Oh, my gosh! You are simultaneously scared to open it/can’t open it fast enough. What have I done now? Or not done? She is disappointed in me, I know it. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1671642205855-CYHD99X4HU16O8V67UA1/unsplash-image-vCzh1jOyre8.jpg Blog - 4 Steps to Manage Imposter Syndrome - You notice an email from your boss. (hint of panic) Oh, it’s just my imposter syndrome thoughts. Let me slow down and view myself accurately. (deep breaths) I can see that I want to think she must be disappointed with me, but I also know I am pretty good at what I do. What else is possible? Maybe it has nothing to do with my performance, my faults. But if I have made a mistake, I can apologize and learn from it. It doesn’t mean I am fired. I am not alone in feeling this way, lots of other professionals experience these thoughts, too. Let me take a few more breaths before I open that email. https://www.sparrowsnestcounseling.com/blog/how-does-therapy-help-high-functioning-anxiety monthly 0.5 2025-05-01 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1671571790172-CQ4N6DP1RJOZSIKB2HNM/unsplash-image-rXrMy7mXUEs.jpg Blog - How Does Therapy Help High-Functioning Anxiety? - When you think of someone who struggles with anxiety, what comes up for you? Many people think of someone who has a phobia of some type or experiences anxiety that is so debilitating that they take extreme measures to avoid anxiety-provoking situations. Someone who is visibly jittery or talks very fast. Or doesn’t talk at all. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1671572112118-T5OK74WODSYGW7QUB71W/unsplash-image-CrW-TbykPBQ.jpg Blog - How Does Therapy Help High-Functioning Anxiety? - There is a lot of free information online about strategies for anxiety. You can do some research and find some great things to try. It can be hard to figure out what is reliable information and what is not, so be careful and take time to vet your sources if you are going to try to employ the strategies you find. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/25631018-1e91-48f9-8813-26108b095674/%287-28-2022%29a+163_pp2.JPG Blog - How Does Therapy Help High-Functioning Anxiety? - I hope you’ll give me a call if you are a woman in Pennsylvania who is ready to get out of your own way. https://www.sparrowsnestcounseling.com/blog/10-ways-to-reduce-anxiety-by-setting-realistic-big-goals monthly 0.5 2025-05-01 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1671470116344-V9LS8C8WYFE7YXNB932G/unsplash-image-rH8O0FHFpfw.jpg Blog - 10 Ways to Reduce Anxiety by Setting Realistic Big Goals - Hey there, perfectionist… we need to take a hard look at all those things before you buy your planners and color coded markers and commit to a bunch of stuff that gets you in over your head. (Let me guess, you already bought the planners, didn’t you?) https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1671470571899-H7KN235WOSDKEIM6QUO4/unsplash-image-ViLAbC-Id58.jpg Blog - 10 Ways to Reduce Anxiety by Setting Realistic Big Goals - When we can compartmentalize things as all one way or all another it makes us feel as if we can skip the emotional roller coaster. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1671470999071-GMV11KYAZJA0SLV21CUO/unsplash-image-N9uOrBICcjY.jpg Blog - 10 Ways to Reduce Anxiety by Setting Realistic Big Goals - Think about what you (just you, not anybody else in your family) want in life. Think broad. Think personal, professional, family, home, financial, spiritual, whatever categories make you who you are. This is where you allow yourself to dream big. I like to go even bigger and dream about the next 10 years. I think about how old my kids will be, what phase of life I will be in, what would I like to have accomplished by then, what kinds of freedoms I want to be able to enjoy. Then I bring it in closer, and do the same thing for 5 years from now. Then 2 or 3 years from now. Then I get down to next year. Of course all of that future stuff is something to hold loosely, because life tends to present twists and turns that influence those outcomes, but it is something that is good to think about. It helps to take those big, 10-years-from-now dreams and ask yourself what you need to be doing in 5 years to make that happen. 3 years? Finally down to next year – there is where you find the meat for a goal you want to set for yourself right now. https://www.sparrowsnestcounseling.com/blog/10-things-to-consider-in-creating-your-guiding-principles-for-2023 monthly 0.5 2025-04-30 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1671052333094-56TYK7K8Q4RCQ99SNYC0/unsplash-image-Wn0fB57ULYY.jpg Blog - 10 Things to Consider in Creating Your Guiding Principles for 2023 - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1671053178797-KAJ1TA2ZRSVUKK1VJOC2/unsplash-image-zXh0re-HGpU.jpg Blog - 10 Things to Consider in Creating Your Guiding Principles for 2023 - I am wishing you all the best as you finish up 2022 and ring in 2023. If your guiding principles are leading you to get some help so you can live a life that fits into your values, please reach out. You may need someone to come alongside you and help you sort out your intentions from people-pleasing behaviors so you can define those guiding principles in the first place. I am here for it! https://www.sparrowsnestcounseling.com/blog/how-anxiety-impacts-decision-fatigue-and-5-ways-to-get-ahead-of-it monthly 0.5 2025-04-30 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1670345280514-2DNBLA7T1NZLSQ0KBR2J/unsplash-image-dBl-tI7SBtE.jpg Blog - How Anxiety Impacts Decision Fatigue and 5 Ways to Get Ahead of It. - It happens when our brains are just worn out from having to make so many decisions. They don’t even need to be hard decisions. Just relentless, repetitive, and constantly tasking. Add hard decisions or anxiety-producing situations into the mix and our decision-making muscle becomes a gooey-mess. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1670344625194-WX7IH78TB5GJG74WLIE1/unsplash-image-1eA2_18Mazc.jpg Blog - How Anxiety Impacts Decision Fatigue and 5 Ways to Get Ahead of It. - It reminds me of being a mom with a toddler. It was much easier to be patient with the multitude of inquiries and bids for attention they sent my way in the morning, but by the evening that patience wore thin. Something happens between the 1st “Mommy, why?” and the 7,342nd one. Not that all of that involves decisions (a lot of conversation with little ones is repetitive) but all of it demands attention. Maybe I also had some more complex conversations with other people, and problems to solve that were outside of my wheelhouse (I’m looking at you, technology and car problems). And of course, the running to-do list in your head (it’s time for an eye doctor appointment, so-and-so needs a lunchbox, I need to think of a casserole to bring to that event, is the cat limping?) By the end of the day, I felt like I did not have 2 brain cells left that could cooperate to decide what to have for dinner. https://www.sparrowsnestcounseling.com/blog/10-ways-to-manage-people-pleasing-and-perfectionism-during-the-holidays monthly 0.5 2025-04-30 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1669767357410-DCWH6IMFJD6KVX9EYI0H/unsplash-image-7M_Q0DYcI08.jpg Blog - 10 Ways to Manage People-Pleasing and Perfectionism During the Holidays - The first time I noticed this in myself was when I was newly married. (Notice a theme here? Yes, this post picks up right where last week’s post about the clash of “normals” left off!). I opened my presents Christmas morning and was completely overwhelmed by my husband’s thoughtfulness and extravagance which was in stark contrast to the frugal and practical things I had bought for him. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1669768720435-AKC9WIUT0GLYF9OSEHG9/unsplash-image-ZY7J02fmKqE.jpg Blog - 10 Ways to Manage People-Pleasing and Perfectionism During the Holidays - Gift giving isn’t the only way people-pleasing and perfectionism shows up at the holidays. Making sure your house is impeccably decorated might be more about creating an atmosphere that makes you look like Martha Stewart; like you’ve got all the holiday stuff together and you are beautifully making memory-filled magic for your family. https://www.sparrowsnestcounseling.com/blog/re-defining-normal monthly 0.5 2025-04-30 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/d324fbe0-9d35-47be-9874-95a5f02f067e/20221128_104850.jpg Blog - Re-Defining Normal - (but I do have my own, beautiful tree in my office!) https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1669666420930-B978LPGT5DOWN32ZVO8X/unsplash-image-spP6LqxN0-g.jpg Blog - Re-Defining Normal - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1669665741980-K5HCJCP26U0AAC4VXPHJ/unsplash-image-hteXWSF9jA4.jpg Blog - Re-Defining Normal - Personal growth can completely re-define your “normal”. https://www.sparrowsnestcounseling.com/blog/dont-let-your-brain-ruin-your-holidays monthly 0.5 2025-04-30 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/a4fad12f-54c6-4467-aacf-9c8f5ba03aee/IMG_20221120_110004_104+%281%29.jpg Blog - Don’t Let Your Brain Ruin Your Holidays - I assumed, on our first Thanksgiving together, that everything must be from scratch, so I figured it out, all the way down to cranberry sauce that would give Martha Stewart cause to up her game. We sat down at the table, and my husband admired the wondrous spread but said, “Where’s the cranberry sauce?” He did not even recognize my fancy-from-sractch-cranberry sauce as cranberry sauce! For him, it just isn’t Thanksgiving unless there are slices of jellied cranberry sauce, straight from a can, on the table (more proof that his mother didn’t cook everything from scratch). This speaks to his expectation “It’s not cranberry sauce if you can’t slice it.” https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1668631121138-6WU90MZICOHNF3P3EXPN/unsplash-image-ZrhtQyGFG6s.jpg Blog - Don’t Let Your Brain Ruin Your Holidays - Compassion and understanding show up when we try to expand our polarized mindsets to include some alternate possibilities. https://www.sparrowsnestcounseling.com/blog/wide-awake-you-too-journaling-tips-for-insomnia monthly 0.5 2025-04-30 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1668084436310-QJT1YCAZUKSNQCKA407V/unsplash-image-i-ePv9Dxg7U.jpg Blog - Wide Awake. You Too? Journaling Tips for Insomnia - It’s 5AM and I am in my closet, typing this blog post. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1668085352638-7QHN2N4H8KWAY2CRDE9Y/unsplash-image-MMa38UrYIkg.jpg Blog - Wide Awake. You Too? Journaling Tips for Insomnia - What does one journal about in the wee hours of the morning? https://www.sparrowsnestcounseling.com/blog/get-ready-for-the-holidays-with-intentionality monthly 0.5 2025-04-30 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1667211988988-NIC3BKSNJN2U8JGZPZ3M/unsplash-image-e9jV1ZyrOmg.jpg Blog - Get Ready for the Holidays with Intentionality - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1667563486274-U5Z3V1I5U7IJO0QFYA5P/unsplash-image-X1KB4VoMqBo.jpg Blog - Get Ready for the Holidays with Intentionality - The title of my talk was “Simplify Christmas” and my main idea was that there are two P’s of Christmas that bring true peace at Christmas. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1667212450720-3SBGR1DLPYUM7G2BG1X0/unsplash-image-hWS8D6u6nks.jpg Blog - Get Ready for the Holidays with Intentionality - I am here if you need some extra support to get through the next couple of months. https://www.sparrowsnestcounseling.com/blog/the-facets-model-to-clarify-your-internal-experience monthly 0.5 2025-04-30 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1666648590959-AFUJM3AJHZGM8PF2DQML/unsplash-image-KZW823ubkQA.jpg Blog - The FACETS Model to Clarify Your Internal Experience - Just like a diamond, our experiences are made up of different facets. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1666649086097-2YSWI8FCOVTCSDJ5RD0X/unsplash-image-NXiIVnzBwZ8.jpg Blog - The FACETS Model to Clarify Your Internal Experience - Freedom from anxiety means that you know how to stop and consider what is going on when those anxious feelings pop up. Freedom from anxiety gives you the permission and strength to take a pause so you can zoom out and consider that your internal experience may not be founded on fact. Some of your internal experience may be old patterns trying to lead you down old neural pathways. https://www.sparrowsnestcounseling.com/blog/6-signs-you-might-be-a-control-freak monthly 0.5 2025-04-30 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1665588210676-C17HLOCXQFI00FC5VNRW/unsplash-image-qFpnvZ_j9HU.jpg Blog - 6 Signs You Might Be a Control Freak - It’s natural to want to feel in control of yourself, your circumstances. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1665588475766-9L9357KZ7Q4EPUDIFH34/unsplash-image-wNeuMUuGiPM.jpg Blog - 6 Signs You Might Be a Control Freak - So many of our early experiences shape the way we interact with our adult lives. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/23175c1d-91a9-4866-9241-4c62afb24bf6/Circle+of+Control+Infographic.png Blog - 6 Signs You Might Be a Control Freak - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/ee6f1068-543d-4dbb-a41f-9800ee40d78a/Circle+of+Control%2C+Election+Specific.png Blog - 6 Signs You Might Be a Control Freak - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://www.sparrowsnestcounseling.com/blog/grounding-to-relieve-anxiety monthly 0.5 2025-05-01 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1665415773852-PX95RJO14YJ9LAI0GZ2M/unsplash-image-dr1U6IZldVE.jpg Blog - Grounding to Relieve Anxiety - When we are in moments of distress we are usually not tuned into the present. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1746047232781-QNTB2FFSPKXRLXZV28HP/unsplash-image-KhgxXazhY0I.jpg Blog - Grounding to Relieve Anxiety - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1665416159972-FXF1TIHVZUBIICXF59QN/unsplash-image-V8EvN07al5k.jpg Blog - Grounding to Relieve Anxiety - You may be thinking that some of these ideas seem silly, but what if they work? If you are someone who feels anxious often, you may want to print these out for a loved one at home to keep. They might notice your early signs of anxiety before you do, and they can spring into action with these tips. https://www.sparrowsnestcounseling.com/blog/overwhelmed-do-the-next-thing monthly 0.5 2025-04-30 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1665171839374-RRUYY4Z5T5QYXF83KJO8/unsplash-image-aLnqDp3B3YU.jpg Blog - Overwhelmed? Do the Next Thing - In times of crisis, self-care becomes critically important, but that is usually the first thing women ignore. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1665172080585-4LXF8GCHOYA2HE4H4MZW/unsplash-image-jw3xbuelpKM.jpg Blog - Overwhelmed? Do the Next Thing - Once everything is somewhat functional, an important next thing might be canceling whatever we can to carve out time to journal or talk to a trusted friend. Giving ourselves time to consider our options is time well-spent. https://www.sparrowsnestcounseling.com/blog/10-ways-journaling-helps-anxiety monthly 0.5 2025-04-30 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1665083452317-GXU10PHK47IS51UVCAWE/unsplash-image-333oj7zFsdg.jpg Blog - 10 Ways Journaling Helps Anxiety - Journaling Let me guess… you either love it or you hate it. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1665083857447-CV7H9Q551AAW9UWSBE0Q/unsplash-image-IGXxNp4ld3o.jpg Blog - 10 Ways Journaling Helps Anxiety - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1665084016064-P6P6Z65Q2JOFA92JCSBN/unsplash-image-0I75875sRVU.jpg Blog - 10 Ways Journaling Helps Anxiety - Clearly, I can’t speak highly enough about journaling. I consider it to be part of my self-care. I don’t have rigid rules around making sure to do it daily, but I can tell when I need to do it. Some days I journal more than once. When I take that time to sort my thoughts and feelings out, everyone else in my life also seems to benefit! Journaling helps me be more present, more clear about my own thoughts and feelings, and how I communicate them. https://www.sparrowsnestcounseling.com/blog/cbr1t8sz8hv5gx53tf04xvbilxswtv monthly 0.5 2025-04-30 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1663772708552-X9OGW046E135DD2FKXC2/unsplash-image-vnAa6Ra34A4.jpg Blog - Why Christian Women Want a Christian Counselor - Christian women can feel painfully alone in our struggles. We assume that if we are not happy, put-together, optimistic, we must lack faith. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1663338325158-D68VMAFRUBZOZG79PH9P/unsplash-image-ReEqHw2GyeI.jpg Blog - Why Christian Women Want a Christian Counselor - So, what if you pray all the time, give thanks, read your Bible, get involved in your church and serve God, but you still feel anxious? https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1663338853491-4PVLVBTK1MVJ16D44D13/unsplash-image-iIWF5HJstGY.jpg Blog - Why Christian Women Want a Christian Counselor - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://www.sparrowsnestcounseling.com/blog/10-ways-to-improve-your-self-esteem monthly 0.5 2025-04-30 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1662994513060-88L6TKFFKCW3J0MVB1FG/unsplash-image-oWDRVgk04EA.jpg Blog - 10 Ways to Improve Your Self-Esteem - Kids in the neighborhood sometimes included her in their games, and sometimes they didn’t. When they didn’t, her thoughts followed that path of “I am not good enough to be included.” https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1662995132270-H99BO2X853JECO1T59J2/unsplash-image-xJYtyE9dlsc.jpg Blog - 10 Ways to Improve Your Self-Esteem - I notice when I am tempted to travel an old road and (usually) find ways to intentionally take a detour. Sometimes I have to override that internal GPS that thinks those old roads are the only way. I know the discomfort of “recalculating….recalculating…recalculating” and feeling as if the new way is going to steer me wrong. Our brains like to do what is comfortable, and if we spend many years creating certain neural pathways, they feel like the way home. We need to notice our thoughts and boss them around a little bit. I wrote about this in my blog post about overthinking. https://www.sparrowsnestcounseling.com/blog/8-steps-to-tackling-anxious-overwhelm monthly 0.5 2025-04-30 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1662914346647-2JXPQ3GPHNF6MBH6H2W0/unsplash-image-_FfmCtQeqAw.jpg Blog - 8 Steps to Tackling Anxious Overwhelm - A weekly hour of counseling is not the same as rehab at a luxury spa, but it is a place to catch your breath. Nobody needs anything from you for this hour... you get to be the one with needs. I am removed from your problems. I can help you make a plan. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1662914516110-M4OOKJ7B4L9RI5QPYLIH/unsplash-image-RLw-UC03Gwc.jpg Blog - 8 Steps to Tackling Anxious Overwhelm - Which tasks are most important to you? Which ones take the most time or energy? Which ones have deadlines? Which have consequences if you fail? Which ones do you want to get rid of if you could? Which ones would you never get rid of? Which ones feel the heaviest to you? Which ones get your emotions triggered? Which ones are outside your ability to control? Which ones could you pass off to someone else? Which ones could you feel ok about just not doing for a season? https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1662913746911-EY07NCD2JFDLRXMNOOEY/unsplash-image-ayKyc01xLWA.jpg Blog - 8 Steps to Tackling Anxious Overwhelm - My husband once shared a metaphor that I’ve never forgotten. He told me that when there are too many penguins on an iceberg, the iceberg starts to sink. (I have no idea if this is true or not…it’s just a metaphor to me!). We have to get some of those penguins to jump off so our iceberg stays afloat. When we are going through a tough season, we may have a lot of heavier seals taking up space on that iceberg. It’s harder to get rid of them, and they weigh the iceberg down more than the penguins. https://www.sparrowsnestcounseling.com/blog/how-to-deal-with-overthinking-using-the-facets-approach monthly 0.5 2025-06-03 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/a67176fc-7c33-4c26-bf87-cda8593cdd20/unsplash-image-HmQ-nNgRz7w.jpg Blog - How to Deal With Overthinking using the FACETS Approach - This ties right in with • people pleasing Having an opinion that is just your own may not sit well with somebody else. It’s even worse if you have to make a decision that forces you to take sides between two people that you really want to think highly of you. • perfectionism You do not want to move forward until the thing is perfect, so you have to think of all of the details before you make that decision. • self-esteem You value everyone else’s opinion above your own. You assume that if you come up with what you think on your own, it’s going to be wrong. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1662753140531-73MI56D4ROHUU9ZEIZFQ/unsplash-image-KZW823ubkQA.jpg Blog - How to Deal With Overthinking using the FACETS Approach - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1662754756853-0IAF07LJ9GC0EKEXWJE4/unsplash-image-8eSrC43qdro.jpg Blog - How to Deal With Overthinking using the FACETS Approach • I need to find a job because of debt, but also to make friends, and avoid boredom when my husband is away. • It doesn’t make sense to do the schooling to get credentialed here. • I miss working with kids. • No wonder I am struggling with this decision – I have a lot of conflicting emotions happening all at once. • I am probably not really going to let my husband down. He is as crazy about me as I am about him. • I can trust God, even though I don’t know how it’s going to work. https://www.sparrowsnestcounseling.com/blog/10-tips-for-making-peace-with-imperfection monthly 0.5 2025-04-30 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1662759165166-ABYFT8C9M1RIF1927LFZ/unsplash-image-lPX6-ee-1zU.jpg Blog - 10 Tips for Making Peace with Imperfection - Why do we strive for perfection? https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1662759513375-QFJJM1OARP1DGZNIGBW1/unsplash-image-NoRsyXmHGpI.jpg Blog - 10 Tips for Making Peace with Imperfection - No striving, just existing. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1662759747211-CP71KVDLCXKMRJ5D1EJ3/unsplash-image-vd8DbM-5pDg.jpg Blog - 10 Tips for Making Peace with Imperfection - Developing this habit of becoming perfectly imperfect is not easy, and that’s where the courage comes in. https://www.sparrowsnestcounseling.com/blog/five-tips-to-start-overcoming-people-pleasing monthly 0.5 2025-04-30 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/0a3b8827-8454-44c5-804b-2fca33c6c3e1/pexels-ivan-samkov-4240502.jpg Blog - 5 Ways to Free Yourself from the Anxiety of People-Pleasing - There is a time and a place to do for others. A balance to care for yourself and to care for others. (photo credit: pexels-ivan-samkov-4240502) https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1c9bb9a6-3f9c-4049-8913-2014dc59c2ad/%287-29-2022%29+183_pp2.jpg Blog - 5 Ways to Free Yourself from the Anxiety of People-Pleasing - In fact, the reason I am putting this picture of me in this post is because it was my favorite picture from my photo session, but someone close to me thought it was a weird pose. As I considered whether to select this photo for the package I would buy or not, I thought of my people-pleasing tendencies. I decided I needed this picture to remind myself that I need to let my own opinion matter (although I did crop out the “weird pose” part). https://www.sparrowsnestcounseling.com/blog/help-for-anxiety monthly 0.5 2025-04-30 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1662735150350-HOBCS5YHIGX0B227Y8CA/unsplash-image-bwKtz4YVtmA.jpg Blog - Help for Anxiety - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1662749436720-0LOL8IGR7I0TYYJM4NAV/unsplash-image-m4GbgHAWNCI.jpg Blog - Help for Anxiety - It’s a bit like redecorating your bedroom. You realize you hate that your bedroom is painted an activating bright red and you want to make changes. In order to do that, you have to take everything out of the room, tape the ceilings, put down drop cloths, get the supplies and do the work. You know that eventually that room will be a peaceful, calming pale blue that soothes you, but you have to get through the process of creating it first. That process makes a mess and feels chaotic. That mess spills out into the other rooms of the house while you are working on it. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/62d1c94b50329356d951a29b/1662750452939-VYIY20MTE2YLZRQKSUJC/unsplash-image-qKXnwCIaULI.jpg Blog - Help for Anxiety - Although anxiety is a normal emotion, it does not have to be your normal state of being. 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